Open nor NOT?
- angryteacherishere
- Nov 14, 2015
- 2 min read
By Tracy Cheng
Moving to another country to study is a big decision for so many people since there are so many challenges. First of all, we have to know the language very well. That’s how we can study at school. Secondly, we need to be able to handle the different lifestyle. Working in another country is much harder than studying in another country. You need to be able to communicate with local people and live among them. Getting married to a foreigner is advanced level difficulty.
A couple of months ago I got a chance to hang out with a girl I went to graduate school with. Mari is from Japan and moved to America for school. After she graduated, she found a job and also a husband. She has been in America for 8 years. Most of time, she hangs out with people of different nationalities. She is very outgoing and open-minded so she has friends from all around the world. We would never think she could ever have any issues with her husband’s Polish-American family.
Mari told us that she had some issues with her mother-in-law a while ago. Her husband told her they needed to talk and then he grabbed her and took her to their room. He looked very serious and told her that his mother thinks Mari doesn’t like her. Mari’s mother-in-law is a generous woman. Whenever she goes shopping, she always gets something for Mari. Mari never opens those gifts in front of her mother-in-law so her mother-in-law thinks Mari doesn’t like the gifts she gives or even that Mari doesn’t like her.
After Mari’s husband communicate with her, they figure out there is a big cultural difference when it comes to opening gifts. In most Asian countries, it is rude to open a gift in front of giver. For Mari, if she opens a gift in front of her mother-in- law, she doesn’t respect her. So of course, she never does it. In Western culture, you open the gift right away and give some compliments (most of time - excluding Christmas). This is how you show respect to the giver.
Finally, they found Mari's behavior had nothing to do with her likes or dislikes. It was just culture clash.
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