How to Organize a Baby Shower That … ROCKS!

By Ralitsa Vatova

Baby Showers are not a thing I grew up with but since coming to the US I realized they are a big thing here. The fascinating thing about a baby shower is that it is not a celebration for the guests, but for the mother-to-be. So everyone is a host in a way, and the only guest is the future mom. As I have been to a few so far, I realized a baby shower can be an extremely boring celebration for everyone if not organized properly. Imagine the guest of honor (the mother) may (have to) invite all females of closer and farther circles of acquaintance to the celebration. At the party there is a fine selection of women from great-grandmas to one-year-old toddlers, and most women don’t know each other. Add the awkwardness of probably not knowing the hostess, and you get the successful result of having bored, quiet faces staring at the nearest wall (glass, fork, etc.) throughout the entire party. I will focus on the things that can be done to make the party a blast, as I will still point out what even the most boring baby shower must have in order to be called one.

1. A hostess – The mother has one main responsibility – to pick her hostess. The hostess must be someone you know well, preferably a very close friend or a family member. That person will have to be eager to bear the burden of the entire organization, and the party itself. A key thing for a successful party is to have a hostess that is great at entertaining people. If your first choice is not a crowd pleaser, doesn’t like to give speeches, or organize parties in the first place, pick someone else. If you do not want to offend your obvious choice get a co-hostess to help with the interactive part of the party, or to fill in the gaps the hostess will not handle well.

2. Gifts – Even though originally baby showers were invented for celebrating the birth of a new person, and to help the parents with things for the baby, a lot of times a mom will end up receiving 40 pairs of clothes that will fit the baby only during the first week, or 5 diaper bags, or two strollers, etc. That is why the industry has found a solution of the problem – registers. Here comes the second responsibility of the parents-to-be. They should create a register, to avoid returning the six extra jumpers they may get as a gift otherwise. When invited to a baby shower a person must always check if a register was created. Even if one is not available, do not take the initiative to buy something to surprise the parents. They may have it already, or they may not need it at all. Go with money or a gift card. Remember, money is not a bad gift (preferably in the form of a gift card from a baby store), as parents are never prepared for the fact how much money they will actually have to spend on minor things like diapers, and baby formula. You can always buy a tiny little thing in addition to your plastic gift, just to make it more charming.

3. Where, when, what time – Before the celebration is announced, the party responsible for the organization (hostess, parents, or both) must decide how to organize the party. Without a doubt the easiest way to organize a party is at a public place. A lot of restaurants will offer a private section of the restaurant, and will serve everyone while you are celebrating. Moneywise, whether you have your party at a restaurant for 2-3 hours or you organize it at your premises, it will cost you approximately the same amount. The question is which model is more successful for the actual celebration. You must know your crowd well. If you think it will be hard for them to interact with each other, you should not choose a public place, as it will add awkwardness to the situation. If your party will be attended by super loud and fun people, don’t choose a restaurant either, as you may suffer complaints from others, and your party may end up not having fun, or being embarrassed.

4. Invitations – Once you have the hostess and the register, you are ready to invite people to the party. Invitations can be organized by the future parents, or the hostess or both. Remember, répondez s'il vous plait (RSVP) is a great thing that must be an integral part of your invitation. You need to know how many people you should expect to show up for sure, and have a 10-15% flexibility towards more people showing up. Nowadays getting an invitation in the mail is considered quite fancy, especially if there is an extra touch. Some invitations go the extra mile by placing a picture from the baby’s last ultrasound or 4D, others will have the smiling mom-to-be with the big belly. But even if you can’t or do not to go the extra mile, an invitation must contain the following things: who is the mother; who is the hostess; the hostess’s contact information; date, time, and place of event; how to RSVP; how many people will be coming; information about the register, or recommendations for gifts; note if the party is a surprise or not (some moms-to-be may get a surprise party).

5. Decorations – if there is a party that shouldn’t ever go without decorations, it is the baby shower. From balloons, to signs on walls, to many more, you must go the extra mile on this one. Remember baby showers are not the easiest parties of all, so you want to create a playful happy vibe. You can put funny things on the wall that are actually related to the parents and the future baby, not just some pre-printed signs in bulk. Remember unique and funny will make the party great from the first moment guests enter.

6. Timing – It may be a good idea to call all guests and confirm that they will show up on time. If at a public place, all guests must be there before the guest of honor comes. If at a private place (someone’s house) the mom-to-be will most likely be there already, so as a good guest no one should make a pregnant woman sit by the door for an hour and a half greeting guests. Make everyone be on time, so the party doesn’t get ruined from the get go. When greeting guests the hostess must make sure she introduces herself to all guests, as they must go to her for everything afterwards. It may be a good idea to have everyone take pictures with the future mom and the hostess as guests arrive, and inform everyone that they will get those pictures when they leave. Such a tactic makes even the remote acquaintances feel important, and will put them at ease very quickly.

7. Food – Even though buffet “serve yourself” style is convenient, and easy to organize, this may not be the best option possible. If the party is huge, it is the best option. However, if everyone will be seated at a table, it is better to have family style meals with minimum walking around for appetizers etc. Family style dining has one more benefit. Since everyone eats the same thing, they will have a common topic for conversation. Small talks about food are a good ice breaker technique. Plus passing platters around assists in interaction among people. Keep in mind that buffet style offers better variety as everyone has specific food requirements, while family dining limits those options, so make sure there are edible options for every guest.

8. Beverages – This is not a regular party. You don’t want people drunk. However, you may not want to have a bored sober crowd either. So, offer drinks, but make it hard for people to drink too much, by entertaining them, and keeping them busy away from their glass.

9. Entertainment – I started this list with the choice of a hostess. Here is why. The hostess must engage all guests in common activities. No mom-to-be wants to see guests small talk quietly with the person next to them, or guests quietly eating their food, or guests staring at the nearby wall for ten minutes. That is why a good in entertainment hostess is a must. Rule one to hundred and one: Do not allow the guests to get bored. Funny stories, toasts, games, etc. are of great help with that.

10. Games – there is no other celebration that encourages playing games more than baby showers. From word games, to be blindfolded and do something games, to guess something games. There is such a big variety of options to pick from. One very important thing for success is to have everyone’s attention, and to get everyone involved. A tiny twist is to make people laugh even if they lose. Have prizes for the winners, to make people more willing to compete. Have games that are not typical. Remember most of these women have been to at least one baby shower so far, so they already know the standard games. Examples for untypical games: have only the women who haven’t had babies mix formula with one hand, while holding a dummy in the other; have blindfolded women put diapers on a dummy, dress the dummy, put the dummy in a stroller, etc. That will make people laugh, and will help everyone realize or remember that taking care of a baby is not an easy job.

11. Opening of the gifts – in all movies the opening of the gifts is a main pin point of the celebration. However, I haven’t seen a single party when the mom-to-be does it. Two reasons, it is a messy process with a lot of torn paper around that needs to be cleaned right away, and there is nothing less exciting than a bunch of women staring at a set of bottles, or a diaper bag being unwrapped. Let’s face it, it is only the future mother that cares what is under the wrap, and everyone has already seen the gifts at the register. If it was a bridal shower, that is a totally different story. If you still want to do it, you better do it at the end of the party.

12. Have gifts for all guests at the end of the party. A fun thing I saw at one baby shower were tiny champagne bottles with signs “pop when she pops”. So once the baby is born you open the bottle at home, and make a toast for the baby, then you send the picture to the new parents.

13. Extending the party – If the party is at a private premise, it will probably not end in 3 hours. It may be a good idea after the official celebration is over to have the men invited, and turn the party to a regular celebration. This one is not a must, but may be a good idea for people who love to party. Remember, if is the mother-to-be is tired, do not do this. One big mistake to avoid is inviting the men too early. If this happens, have an assignment for them outside of the main celebration, such as have them to put a crib, or a dresser together. On top of that it may be a great surprise for the guest of honor to see her baby’s room put together for her as a surprise.

14. End the party – if 13 is not an option, do not force the guests to stay longer than they wish, but do not encourage the last 3 people to stay forever either, as the pregnant woman may be tired at this point. This is a psychological move, and you will know what to do. Plus I didn’t want to have only 13 points on this list so I added this one.

Organizing a baby shower may be funny or boring, so can attending one. So do not go overboard with expensive things, but do not underperform either, as it will scream at guests’ faces once they join the party. Put your effort into things that are worth it, and do not waste your time with things no one will notice. Good luck.

#babyshower #howto #tips #organizing